Toilet Fairies

Being a parent makes you do evil things. We constantly lie to our children about stuff, and it’s overlooked. We tell them it’s not right to lie to us.. but sure it’s ok if we mislead them. They are young and believe anything we tell them… anything.

Santa, the Easter bunny… every year we find a handfull of things to decieve them with. I am sooooooo guilty of doing this. It is so much fun. Every year we draw out the Santa thing to our advantage. You better clean your room, or Santa will not bring you that new bike. You better do your homework because Santa will know you’re making bad grades.

Oh I have a smart kiddo. He’s eight and I am not sure how much longer I can pull off the Santa thing. He’s already asking questions and I have a hard time coming up with the answers:

“So Mom, we don’t have a fireplace… how does Santa get in?” he asks.

“Um…. he has a special key he uses just for those families who are too poor to have a fireplace.”

“But Mom, if Santa rides in a sleigh, and his reindeer are only capable of flying 55 miles miles per hour… Really I think he would have to travel much slower being that his sleigh is more like a convertible… and it’s cold… not to mention he has no windsheild… How can he cover the distance possible to leave presents for all the boys and girls in the world?”

“Ask dad.”

SO… anyWAY… I am guilty of the best deception… and one I am sure he will mention in therapy in years to come. The Toilet Fairy.

AH yes.. the Toilet Fairy. I have managed to convince my son that there is a fairy that flushes the toilet for you in public places. Yes it’s creepy, and I think it’s one of the most brilliant things I have EVER come up with.

Depending on the place, I sometimes make him go in the women’s room with me.. because one - I don’t trust him in the men’s room alone, and two - there are lots of freaky child molesters out there… and I don’t want my kid to take some weirdo’s candy or help someone find their puppy…

SO… I go in the stall with him… and he makes me turn around… cause he’s a boy, and I might see his “private parts”… he finishes… and the toilet automatically flushes.

“Wow! Hey Mom, How does it know I am done pee-ing?” he asks me.

“Well… there is a little fairy in the wall that sits and waits for you to finish…”

“What? You mean there is something in there that watches me pee…”

“A Fairy”

“One of those little things with wings?”

“Yep”

“Mom… that kinda freaks me out!”

“Yeah me too… but it’s just one of those things you get use to, you know?”

“Well I don’t like it,” he says.

“Yeah well wait till you get older… life is full of disappointment.”

He’s gotten use to it now… does a little dance to put on a show for the toilet fairies. Man, being a parent is awesome!!

Yeah I know I am going to hell… better on my terms though

~2

Grass

OK… I am cheating. I have total brain drain; I am going to contribute that to the jetlag, so this is old. I have posted this before… back when I had one whole subscriber (thanks mom!… kidding) - so you probably missed it. I did think of it when I read the draw… that counts for inspiration… doesn’t it? As always, thanks for playing, and thank you for reading!

Grass

Your hands move along your damp flesh;Crawling like possessed animals up your chest.Slowly dancing on your sternum and up to your necks base,It’s hard to imagine they don’t have a face and can’t laugh -Their little eyes gleaming, hair streaming, and their teeth shining.For all you know… their smiling.

Your body twitches as they dig in drawing blood to the surface -Its warmth teases them, its scent excites them, its taste thrills them.Your life depresses them.Your death anchors them.Now resembling blades of grass blowing in the wind,They frantically sway trying to detach themselves from their master.

~2

I Need to Post a Blog

Is it wrong to post a blog for the sake of posting a blog? I have been out the last week, and am in serious need of blogging. I have a million things running through my head, but I can’t just pluck one out and roll with it. What is wrong with me?

I have seriously been questioning my sanity as of late. What makes a person normal? Is this something I really want? What if your idea and my idea of normal are two completely opposite things? Who’s right? And who’s to say that once the right answer is out there… that it is indeed correct? DAMMIT!!! Where is this shit coming from? Is this just me reaching to make a blog out of nothing?… hmn.

SO.. I have been in Phoenix looking for a humble abode. There has been many nice, decent, and liveable places crossing my path. Other than that… nothing too exciting happened while I was gone. I picked up a couple of books at Borders - one I have actually started to read, and am almost finished with… American Psycho. I am waiting to watch this movie with an AWESOME friend… someday, so I thought I would read the book. Pope said it was good… and I was in the market for a good read. I also picked up William S. Burroughs Naked Lunch… one of my ALL time favorite movies. I haven’t read the book and am excited to crack it open. You wonder why I am making such a big deal about a book… well with kids you are lucky if you get time to go to the bathroom alone… let alone read something… other than myspacing between running about the house chasing after some crazy kid(s)… so YEAH it’s a BIG deal.

It’s great to be back. I missed a lot of good reading here. I read a couple of my favorites; I am sorry if I missed yours. I will try to catch up - but no promises. I missed you all soooo much, and am so glad to be back home.

I am going to post… hopefully tomorrow, my latest draw. If you’re in the Green Room you can check that bulletin and get busy.

I can’t wait to get back to normal… or just being me.

~2

Gone Daddy Gone!

Well today is the big day, I'm off to Phoenix with DH. Kids are staying behind and it's going to be a week of driving each other crazy. Encase I haven't told you, we're probably moving there, so we have to scope the area and find a cool place to call home.

I am going to be away, but may get a little myspace time in the evening - nothing like I have now, so it's going to be bittersweet. I have drawn from the jar and posted it in the Green Room of Collaboration group board for those of you are a member already... those of you interested : Click Here.

I had a ton of things I was suppose to do before I left around here... but I have been busy with all sorts of craziness:

Really... I know that's no excuse, so I apologize. I will be on and off but expect me back in full force Saturday evening. I am going to be writing on paper until then so all I will have to do is translate my chicken scratches when I get back... easier said than done.

SO... message me, leave me a comment, sing me a pretty song... I can't wait to hear from you. DAMMIT!! I miss you already.

~2

He Made it Home

I have two kids. One is eight and the other almost fifteen months. For the past week my oldest has been in Michigan with is father. His dad got married last month and they were having a reception the first of July.

This was incredibly hard for me. Michigan is so far away... what if something happened? bleah. ANYway.. nothing did, and I picked him up in OKC this afternoon. We did a bit of running around and started the drive home.

I missed him so much. I can't even begin to explain how much I missed this lil weirdo. He is everything to me... the whole reason I am still here today. I was so lost without him. Yes I have my daughter, and she is beautiful and wonderful too... But Gabe is just ALL MINE. I don't have to share him with anyone. SO.. this last week was hell... I have been throwing my own pitty party, and today I got to kick the freeloaders out.

I was on cloud nine the whole trip home... even though he was running his mouth like you wouldn't believe and the baby was screaming her head off most of the way. I just drove on with a cheesy grin, and a feeling of being whole. I found it... the contentment I am always bitching about... just for a moment, but I saw it, and I know it's there. I felt at that moment I had everything I needed. Me and two crazy kids driving down the road. I know I couldn't get very far with only that - I had only a few bucks, a couple of credit cards, and my check book... but at that moment... everything was perfect. I can't wait to find it again... hopefully soon.

SO... I just wanted to post a blog... and show you this little viddy Gabe's dad sent home with him. It's a bit long, but he's such a fucking rockstar... hahaha.. I had to post it. It's a bit grainy... haha

How you like that? Not a single lesson. HA!
~2

Yeah, I'm Lazy

Yeah, I’m Lazy
I thought and thought and thought
but nothing came out
My brain is drained
for once I shut my mouth (oh wow)

Close my eyes and let the images dance wildly
Taunted by their own theme music they behave so badly
Yet I smile and wish it were me
Crazy like they are and so free

Incredible, beautiful, fantastic, surreal
All these amazing things I wish I could feel
But as much as I want to remember them forever
I can’t bring myself to put them on paper
~2