Growing up, the majority of my friends were male. My best friend was a guy up until my senior year, when Brenda hit the ranking of full time best friend. She was close enough to a guy… she could definitely hold her own in a belching contest… and fuckin’ cussed like a sailor (last time I saw her she still had her old potty mouth.. hehe.. Love you Bren). ANYway… I think I can safely say I know LOTS about the male brain.
I have always been the friend… rarely the girlfriend… that was just weird. On multiple occasions me and my “brothers” would load up my trunk with boards and head off to somewhere exciting. I drove… and took the pictures, delivered the moral support and offered advice when I could. When it came to their “girlfriends,” I can always shake my head in disgust.
Guys in general go for one type of girl… you know the one, and it’s usually the one who breaks their hearts later on. But it is strange how this girl can some how magically intoxicate this boy… and somehow no matter what she does to him… he will always forgive her and take her back… she knows he will… she is absolutely sure she is a “goddess” and in his eyes… yeah she is.
I won’t lie… some of my friends girls were the biggest bitches I have ever met… and I was forced to hang out with them on occasion. I can get along with anyone… but ask me if I liked it. Just smile and nod, Tomara, pretend that you care about her clothes, makeup, hair… pretend that that outfit is “the bomb”… bleah.
My mother has always said that you are only as pretty as you act.. and it’s funny because if these girls looked anything like they acted… their bodies would be covered with oozing pus-filled boils.
ANYway… the point of all of this nonsense:
Yesterday after I got off work, I had to pick my son up from the after school program. On the way back to our apartment he started on about the kids in school and what he did during the day, etc. He went on about this girl, Morgan, in his class. He has talked about her before, saying she is mean to him. I had explained, previously, that that just meant that she liked him, and he would usually get upset and just walk away.
SO, anyway the bad news… Morgan had to sit close to him in reading groups before.. but now… she sits right next to him.
“Well, is she pretty?” I asked.
He was starting to blow me off, “She thinks she is a princess, and she is mean to me…”
“Is she pretty?” I am persistent..
“She doesn’t act pretty… so no she’s not.” I couldn’t help but smile. It tickled me that I have instilled that in him… already.
For a moment I felt like I had accomplished this HUGE thing… He didn’t like her because she was ugly to other people… and him… because she thinks she is better than everyone else… heh…
Right now he doesn’t like her, but in a couple of years, when those hormones kick in… he’ll be carrying her books to class and mixing her chocolate milk… boys - Will they EVER learn?
For some weird reason this saying just popped in my head - my deceased ex-step grandmother use to say, “She thinks she’s hot shit on a golden platter… and really she’s just a cold turd on a paper plate”hahahahaha… that kills me