Saturday, March 24, 2007


You would think being in Oklahoma this last week would quench that thirst for home. I mean I did grow up here, but something is missing. My mother, sister, and neices are all here… and I do love them so, but something just isn’t right. My rotten seeds are here as well, soaking up as much sugar and absolute evil as possible… but what is it?

I can’t sleep… I lie there for hours just going through all the possible blogs in my head… I even wrote some ideas down… I miss home.

All this time I thought home was Oklahoma… was my past, my family here. I am tired of living in the past. I am tired milling over the “what ifs” and “why nots”. I am so hungry for now it’s not even funny.

I am missing my bed, my things, and DH (dear husband as he is often referred to). I am missing that awful smell of the area rug in my living room… like the way your hands used to smell after basketball practice. I miss being snuggled up on my fluffy couch watching a movie… just hanging out with DH. I miss my bathroom rug tickling the bottoms of my feet… the climb into and out of my ridiculously tall bed… the sound of the alarm clock in the morning and DH struggling to climb over me to get to his morning routine.

I miss the calmness in the AZ air… the quiet in my head… the beautiful scenary. I miss the new life I have created for myself totally independent of my past.

I miss the warmth of DHs arms and the most perfectly soft kisses.

Home truly is where the heart is… I can’t wait to get back to mine… back to normal.

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