Saturday, August 18, 2007

My Death Pool Vol 2. - Spontaneous Combustion

You read that right. No point wasting time rereading it. I think that of all the possible scenarios this is my favorite. Can you imagine walking down the street or even in the mall, packed full of hundred of people, and then just… POOF?

I could be having a nice dinner with my husband, discussing important life changing events and then just burst. Would anyone in McDonalds notice? Would Chris be able to recount the event in therapy for years to come, or WORSE, would he ever be able to eat a Quarter Pounder with Cheese again?

“What if” I combust while sitting in the principal’s office, dealing with my son’s discipline problems, while Mr. Anderson turns to reread the number of days my son has been in the Responsible Thinking Center. The look of disgust on his face as he sees the number 59, he then turns back to a pile of ash delicately blobbed in the seat that use to contain… me. I am sure at that moment he would realize where all these problems originated. I mean, how rude to just combust in the middle of a conference.

A scary thought would to spontaneously combust while sitting in traffic with kids in tow. Would the car careen out of control off a bridge plummeting the whole Armstrong clan to their untimely end? Who would live to tell the tale?

“Mom just exploded… wasn’t me!”

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