I hope you won't hate me, but I have to leave the colony. Please know I have always loved you. I knew it that first day in primary when you pulled my hair, and I am STILL sorry I spat in your face. I loved you when you held my hand at our matching ceremony, and you were not sure what to think about me. Even today, I love you now more than ever.
This is so hard, and I hate that I am writing you this note. If I had to tell you face to face, I know I would change my mind. I have to leave. There really isn’t a choice.
I am pregnant.
This colony has been birthed from the same 108 clones since the beginning. Why now, am I able to have a child, when thousands of women before me have not?
Last month, I came across some old documents in Filing. About fifty years ago a woman came to the Eden Corporation claiming she was incubating and that she was the key to a surrogate-free colony.
They killed her. They extracted her unborn child and dissected them both. I don’t want to be cut open and sampled.
There is a light burning inside of me, John. I feel it flicker. It’s like no warmth I have ever experienced before. It is truly amazing.
I’ve known for several months now, and it’s getting harder to hide. I know you don’t like the idea of me visiting Low End on 12, but I had to seek out some answers. I couldn’t tell anyone why I was there, but I overheard some Myrrh talking. They were going on and on about corruption, greed, and the desire to choose their own paths in life; “Free will” they called it. They were planning to leave the colony, and I am going with them.
I am so sorry, but I feel it’s my only option. I hope you can understand. This is so much bigger than us, John. It’s not something Eden should be able to control…
You will find a note under my pillow. It is full of untruths; how miserable I was and how I chose to end my life. It says that I plan to throw myself into the incinerator. Today, I will be seen in that vicinity, and I will be sure to leave some personal item behind. Please take THAT note to security and destroy THIS one.
I love you always,
John stared at the paper until the words disappeared. Mucus and saline pooled in the crevices of his face, as the letter delicately slid from his fingers and floated to the floor.
She was gone, and John was sure he would never see her again. “Goodbye,” he whispered, “I love you, always.”
Broken hearted, John closed his eyes just in time to see Bethany walking away. Even his dreams denied him; she never looked back.