Friday, December 4, 2009

Looking for a Savior

Lisa sat slumped on the toilet, elbows on her knees, picking nervously at her fingernails. Through the doorway she could see the lifeless body of her husband lying on their bed. . “What am I going to do? Think… think,” she trembled.

When no answer came, she rose to her feet, pushed back the curtain, and turned on the shower. Time escaped her. Steam had filled the small bathroom and began to ooze out into the rest of the living quarters before she realized she was just standing there, staring at her reflection.

The woman in the mirror was unrecognizable. Her eyes had grown dark and her face was splotchy red; eyes swollen from tears. Her lips were moving uncontrollably; mouthing words that her brain could not register. She covered the mouth of her reflection with her hands, and stole a glance again at her husband.

Greg’s bulging stare bore holes in the ceiling, and the prints on his face and neck were darkening by the minute. Nausea overcame her, and Lisa folded over with sickness. She had loved Greg like the Eden Corporation had told her to. He was her ideal match, or so she thought.

Lisa stood up pulling the shirt off over her head. She wiped her mouth with it, and dropped it onto the floor. A heavy fog engulfed her as she opened the shower curtain and stepped into the running water. She closed her eyes for what felt like hours, as the water painted her face and chest red. It pooled in the pockets of her jeans and in her shoes, soaking her socks.

“I killed him, I killed him… ” Lisa whimpered, “He was going to turn me in. His loyalty to Eden was stronger than his loyalty to me.” This comment stopped the tears. “I am right.” She shut off the water, pulled back the curtain and stepped out of the tub.

Sloshing water across the room, Lisa confronted her dead husband, “I am saving our civilization,” she said through gritted teeth. “I found a genetic error, and I corrected it. There is no reason for us not to conceive our own children; we have been relying on surrogate clones for far too long… I was not wrong! How could you say that?”

Lisa began to pace and wring her hands, “Not wrong… Not wrong! There is no reason to turn myself in. I have saved our colony…” She shook her head and sat down at the foot of the bed.

After the last trip to the incinerator, Lisa thoroughly cleaned her apartment and took a proper shower. She packed a small bag and loaded her pockets with Greg’s personal items for trade. There would be plenty of takers at Low End, and she needed an escort.

“A recall, are you serious?” Leo Barnes was sweating, and his face was bright red.

”We have no option, Barnes. Elias Eden himself would destroy each and every one of those children. You and I know this to be fact,” Reginald whispered, and looked around. He wanted to be sure they were alone on the basking room floor before continuing, “We are lucky that the codes reset shortly after Dr. Baker altered them, and that we have genetic documentation for each child born at Eden. We will simply explain that the children have a deadly medical defect, and we need to take them in for testing.”

“How many, Foster?” he asked.



  1. Eden Corp!!! It was worth the long wait.

    This installment is griping, engaging, mysterious...a wonderful story!

    Welcome back!

  2. Why is it that us writers are so adept at killing off our husbands? lol. This must be part of a bigger piece, right? It feels like it. Nice. :-)

  3. You guys are fast!

    Thanks so much for your kind words, and always thanks for reading.

    The posts tagged "The Eden Corp" are all interrelated. It's currently a flash series I have been obsessing over (encase you didn't know).

    I have been away for a while on #FlashFridays, but I hope to break that extremely bad habit... now.

    Thanks again!

  4. So happy to have you 'back'! Please can we have some more?

  5. Yay! More Eden Corp. I love your mysterious world. Too funny, her trips to the incinerator. PLEASE come back next week with another tantalizing installment!

  6. Ah, the return of Eden Corp. Love it. Even if there are a dozen defects running around loose that must be caught and destroyed. Keep it coming!

  7. I love this world. It's so...O.O engrossing!

  8. Oh, very intriguing! Genetic thriller = totally up my street :)
    Great description of her "what have I done" moment in the shower, and I like the water painting her red

  9. This is some fantastic writing! I was right there with her in that bathroom - you showed her nervousness so well!
    More please!

  10. So intriguing. The first few paragraphs were fantastic set up. I felt tense just reading them. Great job.

  11. Well written piece. I love genetic mutations and can't wait to see if you reveal them to us!

  12. Great story! I could really feel the water in that shower, and you captured Lisa's fear perfectly. Really enjoyed reading this story. :)

  13. Welcome back, and nice to see another Eden Corp story. This is a very intriguing world you're building us. I look forward to each new revelation.

  14. Welcome back! I love reading about your world, although flash fiction is doling them out in too small doses.

    Great writing!

  15. Very nice! I'm not familiar with your Eden Corp., but I did enjoy this a lot. I liked the way the story unfolded and the hushed conversation at the end added quite a bit of depth. Excellent job!

  16. You're building something big. Keep it up!

  17. Great introduction, although I may be biased as I like anything starting with a woman in the bathroom, her dead husband in the bedroom. This rolls well with intrigue.

    Works great as part of the larger set. I think a little more completion within this subset might strengthen it, but I'll hold off final thought until I read more.

  18. Great to have you back. Another top Eden story. Very tense first half. Looking forward to more soon.

  19. Wow! I haven't had the pleasure of reading your former Eden Corp stories--think I'm going to have to go back and read...Gripping, leaves me wanting more...

  20. I have missed Eden Corp. (and you too) :) If your gonna make a return it should be a big one and this was huge. Welcome back.

  21. I'm new to Eden Corp, but I can;t wait to read them all. This was great, thanks!

  22. "Elias Eden" - so that's who set this whole thing up.

    I'm quite uncomfortable with the concept of a "recall" when talking about children. I don't like this Eden Corporation of yours - and would love to read the entire story.

    Well done. I like your writing.

  23. Great storyline, I was wondering if it was part of a series and then read the comments so now I'm off to read the previous stories as well :)