Monday, June 26, 2006

I’m Still Out of It.

I can only use this excuse for so long before people label me as a liar. The truth is, I have been medicated since Thursday morning, and I am not sure how much longer I will continue taking these damn pain pills. I made a decision to alter part of me, all in the name of vanity.

We all do things to try to better our appearance. We buy clothes, we cut our hair, girls wear make-up, guys do whatever it is they do… all to appeal to the opposite sex (or sometimes the same sex… your call). The media has implanted this idea of “beautiful” into our heads, and like starving pigs we eat that shit up.

My whole life I have hated something about myself, and I am sure you too are guilty of not liking something about you. And when I sit down and think about it… it’s really not that big of a deal. I mean there are many things I could change about myself… I could lose weight, would love to have bigger breasts.. lifted, tucked, and sucked away. I have been super self conscious about this small gap between my top teeth. It’s not even very large, it’s just something that has bothered me as long as I can remember. So I decided I would like to go ahead and get braces to help close the gap.

My son has brakets on his front teeth and they came together so nicely; I was extremely jealous… so I talked to the dentist and decided that he could do that to mine as well. The first step to this process required me to have a fernectomy… which is to remove the muscle that hold the lip to the gums

Now I watched Gabe get his… and it was kinda creepy, but he wasn’t in much pain afterwards, and he didn’t even require any meds or anything.

Thursday morning, bright and fucking early, I go to the dentist office and they hook me up to the gas… thank GAWD. I was already a nervous wreck. It’s funny, the whole time I was under the gas, I was thinking about blogging, but damn if I can remember any of the enlightening thoughts I had now.

I get a few shots to deaden my FACE and they get to work. When finished, the doctor explains that I will probably be sore, because it they had to go a bit deeper, etc. So they give me some antibiotic, 800 milligram ibuprofin, and a script for something for pain. They also decided to give me a shot of an antiflammatory before I left the office. As soon as it hit me… the novacaine immediately wore off. I decided I needed those pain pills so I drove to the store before going to retrieve the kids from my sisters.

Waiting for the pharmacy to fill my script my eyes start to water… it feels like someone has punched me in the nose… and my fucking lip is just dripping blood. I have some tissue from the dentist office, and I keep blotting my lip… I look like a freakshow.

ANYway, to make a long story short… I am still sore. Everytime I wake up my lips is swollen and throbbing. I have like 8 to 10 stitches in my lip, but they can’t sew up my gums. They removed the muscle all the way down from between my two front teeth.. so there is this gapping slit that looks so incredibly nasty.. bleah.

So yeah, I am still sore, and incredibly medicated. It sucks that I am stuck in the house cause I am not suppose to drive, and I am not motivated to do anything but sit here and stare at my computer screen. I am reading few blogs, and my comments are really sucking… so please try to overlook them, and just know I will try to reread these again… cause I am sure I don’t remember much of them.

I am behind on my subscriptions. Everytime I sit down to read blogs my eyes glaze over. I would love to have them read to me… but I can’t seem to get anyone to do so. I promise to be back to my old self soon. I have drawn from the jar, but I am still thinking about my post. If you are interested message me and I will send it to you.

Just message me anyway… cause I am sitting here waiting for messages… that’s about all I am able to do.. I am kind of afraid to post this blog, may have to go and delete it later. I don’t feel like rereading it or proofing it… so I apologize for any nonsense herein… and hope you will forgive me.


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