Tuesday, September 4, 2007

RollerGirl Diaries: Week 1 Spar

***This post contains explicit language… mom don’t read it.***

As part of my training to try out to be one of AZ’s Derby Dames I thought it would be appropriate to incorporate a weekly spar. I have never got in a knock-down-drag-out, so this is going to be fun. Most people who have met me would probably classify me as “one of the nicest people” they have ever met. I can’t help it.


Today I have shed that “nice girl” persona. Today I picked a fight with a total stranger:

After I took big kids to school this morning, Brynn and I took a stroll around the neighborhood to see if we could find some fresh meat.

“Hey You!” I shouted to this very interesting looking woman

“I’m about to KICK… YOUR… ASS!” - I am such a badass I swear.

She was scared. I could tell by the look on her face. For a moment, I felt badly and couldn’t imagine doing such a horrid thing, but I got over it. One incredibly amazing round house, and she was down.

That first blow was awesome, and my adrenaline was pumping. I immediately starting wailing on her… kicking, pounding, and lots of noogies.She was spent, and my posse looked on with disgust.

Brynn didn’t approve. Vaguely I remember hearing her scream “No! No! No!” but I was like a machine… just wailing away on this meager passer by… TOTALLY HARDCORE!

My partner lie smashed to hell, but who cares! I totally kicked her ass.

I beat you! BITCH!!!

What do you think of me now?

That’s right! Bad Ass moves and the attitude to match. I am getting closer to my goal.2 months and 3 weeks to go.

*above sparring partner will make it into next week recycling for those of you environmentally conscious*

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