Posing a Poseur

This is my submission for the Jar Draw 1 "A Smile" on Inspiration Underground


Posing a Poseur

I tried to paint your portrait. The only brush I could find was much too big. Your head is naturally large, so my brush was of no concern. The problem was recreating your features with four inches of bristles.

Your eyes were a piece of cake; dark empty holes void of feeling, but your fire engine red smile ran down your chin and dripped onto the white space I only imagine is your shoes... nice and expensive looking.

Just because I have a brush, it doesn’t mean I am a painter. I did a fine job on you though… Dead on.

I Want...

***This was posted for the draw: “Our lives are kept in Equipoise by opposite attractions and desires.” - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow “Haunted Houses” ***

I posted this a long time ago… but it immediately came to mind tonight when thinking about what to write for this draw… I apologize for reposting but I think it’s appropriate.

I want…
I want to be content… to not wish there was something more.
I want to be able to look at my life with no regrets, and be perfectly happy with what I have. To not be angry that I am not where I want to be or question why I am with - who I am with. I don’t want to obsess about the things that I should have or shouldn’t have done.I want to be handed this contentment on a plate and not have to struggle to attain it… a beautifully wrapped gift in the palm of my hand.

I want not to be afraid to open it.
~2
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Grass

OK… I am cheating. I have total brain drain; I am going to contribute that to the jetlag, so this is old. I have posted this before… back when I had one whole subscriber (thanks mom!… kidding) - so you probably missed it. I did think of it when I read the draw… that counts for inspiration… doesn’t it? As always, thanks for playing, and thank you for reading!

Grass

Your hands move along your damp flesh;Crawling like possessed animals up your chest.Slowly dancing on your sternum and up to your necks base,It’s hard to imagine they don’t have a face and can’t laugh -Their little eyes gleaming, hair streaming, and their teeth shining.For all you know… their smiling.

Your body twitches as they dig in drawing blood to the surface -Its warmth teases them, its scent excites them, its taste thrills them.Your life depresses them.Your death anchors them.Now resembling blades of grass blowing in the wind,They frantically sway trying to detach themselves from their master.

~2

Taking Flight

***Written for the draw: belfry***

Taking Flight

She stood in the tallest tower looking out the smallest window
Envying the life in the birds nest on the ledge
Dizzy her head spins with thoughts of the past
Her heart aching from loss and longing
Fragments of a broken existence flash before her eyes and she is overcome with sadness

The tower had two windows
One much larger, and much more inviting
Pushing the window open the cool breeze comforts her
Almost stealing her breath and filling her
Looking down the tears roll off her nose into oblivion

Below life goes on
People busily rushing to meet their schedules and deadlines
Not even aware of this lovely girl in agony
Weeping uncontrollably
Completely oblivious to her existence
Until…

Her lifeless body lay before them on the cold pavement below the tower window.

~2

Perferred Insanity

***written for the draw: “Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you”-C.G Jung (1875-1961)***

Preferred Insanity
We have become seperated by double panes; you seem to see only your reflection while I see a blurry image of what I thought I knew. Lately it seems as though your touch has become distracted… I guess it doesn’t matter… I am so numb. Plagued with visions of the past and promises of tomorrow, my brain is shutting down… or shutting me out. A thick haze drapes over me and an intolerable weight rests heavily on my shoulders and the back of my neck. What was once the smallest effort has become the largest chore, and I sink back into my hole and cower. Waiting for the right hand to pull me out of this chasm I have hidden myself away in… waiting for the right words to trigger the emotion I so long for… Waiting for the right time to enter society again with an optimistic view and to live a life of preferred insanity.

~2

Destination Home

***written for the draw: One Way Ticket***

Destination: Home

My destination gateway
Closer now
Rolling in slowly from the taxiway
I can’t believe I made it

Alone in my row of bucket seats
Shaking hands
Trembling knees
I gather my things and stand to my feet

Racing heart
A sigh of relief
My longest journey to date
I am just a gate away

Running off the plane
Down the long hall
I collapse in your warm embrace
I am home

~2

Who Stole the Cookie from the Cookie Jar?

***Written for the draw: Denial***

Who Stole the Cookie From the Cookie Jar?

She came in ranting and raving
So what… it was the last one of its kind
So what… she worships them like some pagan god
So what…
I won’t deny it
I ate it
And I’ll do it again
Just to piss her off

~2

The Playwright

***written for the draw: Speech***

The Playwright

In my head I plan the words I want to say
Neverending script… yet never beginning
I know I haven’t the nerve today
To tell you how I really feel

Striving for perfection
I wish to mouth the words to make you love me
Endless plot for your attention
Dreaming to learn you feel the same
~2

It Would Be OH SO Nice

***written for the draw: Fulsome***

It Would be OH SO Nice

Every time I see your face my stomach turns
My eyes roll and I look away in disgust
That shirt… the way you comb your hair
Makes me want to vomit on your shoes

Every time you open your mouth garbage spews
Rotting flesh and soured milk
I can’t stand the sound of your voice
Your lack of imagination
Your misplaced wit and spoiled integrity
Don’t talk to me

Every time you walk by I grind my teeth
It takes all that I am to bite my tongue and be civil
To not blurt out extreme malevolence
To look away and smile and try to think a happy thought
A life without you in it

~2

Fear the Shark Bite

***written for the draw: an actual map piece***

Fear the Shark’s Bite

Burying my feet in the warm, white sand I wait for you on the shore. The clear blue water is so inviting yet so terrifying I can only push myself to its foamy edge; not daring to go past my ankles. You are so far out in the water; floating in the most beautiful liquid crystal. All I can do is stare - watching you perform like an Olympic athlete. Our differences so concrete, separated by a vast amount of flowing uncertainness.

~2

***written for the draw: Time***

Me Vs. You

I take my time.
I need to cool off, and I know that the longer I am gone
The more hurtful it will be.
I grit my teeth, replaying all the events
That made me so angry.
I roll my eyes and curse myself
For all the words left unspoken.
I shed a tear, and feel the guilt
Of making something out of nothing.

~2

Torn

***written for the draw: juxtaposition***

Torn

The world seems to spin as we lay there, side by side, in the cold, damp grass. Wide-eyed and staring up at the night’s sky, are the stars always this bright? Or is it some special occasion, and tonight they are shining brighter just for us? I gently close my eyes and hear the rustling leaves and feel the wind blow the hair from my brow. Giggling softly as the grass brushes the bottoms of my feet, you roll to your side and stare at me in amusement. Gently running your fingers through my hair, I open my sleepy eyes and softly smile. Closing them I feel the heaviness of sleep.

I open my eyes, and you’re gone. I sigh heavily and roll onto my side, pulling my warm comforter tight. I replay my images of you over and over and try to remember what it was like… when I was myself. Still now, this overwhelming guilt eats away at me. Why couldn’t I have been true? Why did I have to change? What was so wrong with the way things were? So, you weren’t my ideal half. Why did I turn my back on you when you were always there for me?

I’m not sure why I did it or why I even cared, but I painted a more presentable portrait of myself; one that would say the right things and walk the path of least resistance. I hid you in a book and carelessly discarded it, and now I wish you were here with me. We would be on top of the world… totally carefree. My ignorant youth plagues me still. Why did I settle with mediocrity when I could have been a shining star?

~2