Showing posts with label writing/poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing/poetry. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Photopollution

Some ramblings tonight. There is no Photopollution in Western Oklahoma.



Tonight, I stole a handful of stars.

I placed them in the front pocket of my dirty blue jeans.

I so wish YOU could have see them… when I held them in my hand, they reflected hundreds of tiny moons.

I tucked them into my pocket, so I wouldn't disturb the neighbors.
They didn't notice.

I could hear their televisions… staged laughter and background music.

They were glued to their screens.

For a moment, I considered throwing my stars through their windows, so they would see them too...

but...

I didn’t want to waste them.

There is a peace of mind, knowing they are safe and in my pocket.

Friday, March 6, 2009

The Weekend Wars: The Beginning

I told you a while back I wanted to work on a collaborated series of stories I called The Weekend Wars. While originally I wanted it to be a collection of short stories, the first one has started to grow rather lengthy. I guess we'll see where it goes. Here's a little sneak peak of the first one:

The Beginning

I hate the phrase “the end of days”. It makes no sense really, because something’s end triggers the beginning of something else. While the Great War was inevitable, it didn't entirely wipe every living thing off the planet. There will always be life born from something's end, but there will also be life that continues on. Not life as usual… but on.

We have all been told that when all life is obliterated in a nuclear war there will still be cockroaches roaming the earth. Enter my main character, Philip Gent.

I could easily compare Philip Gent to a cockroach. He lived mostly in his parent’s basement; a thirty year old, fat, balding boy who never even took out the garbage or loaded the dishwasher for his aging mother. Matter of fact, he hardly moved from the basement. He only surfaced occasionally to sign for packages of spare parts and action figures he had won on internet auction sites.

In this story, Philip finds himself alone in his abandoned town; cut off from the rest of the world. Quickly losing the luxuries of modern life, Philip is thrust into the foreign role of taking care of himself.

Self preservation strangely melds into an obsession, when Philip begins piecing together unique interpretations of his past, the present, and the future using his comic books as a guide... to create a great Manifesto; a collage of pulp fiction, super heroes, and monsters, to leave behind for the future inhabitants of Earth. But there's one problem: Where does he leave it?

---

This story left me thinking: If I were to write my autobiography using only comic book clippings, what titles would I use?

I immediately started trying to find something that described me now, something rather "mom," and couldn't think of single one. I guess what I would use is all the comic books I loved as a kid, trying to find the best parts of each one and just making them relevant now.

As a kid, I loved: Tales From the Crypt, Vault of Horror, Haunt of Fear, The Punisher, Wolverine, Thor, Conan the Barbarian... (as I got older) Tank Girl, The Maxx, Hellraiser, Nightbreed, & TONS more

What comics did you read and could you use them to write your autobiography?

Friday, February 27, 2009

My Brain Tastes Better Than Yours

I watched eagerly as the classroom filled; student upon student swinging their bags onto the long tables and taking their seats. They were shocked to see me there and stared. I tried to smile and nod, but being restrained only made the muscles in my face tighten. I wasn’t even aware that I was restrained until that particular moment.

I wasn’t frightened. Something about “for science” kept coming back to me and allowed me to find that calm, cool, collected, I was capable of. I did feel… awkward.

I stared until the faces sitting in front of me started distorting. Their eyes melded together, mouths twisted, and an occasional forked tongue would wet a student’s lips and/or chin. The figures started going in and out of focus. The vivid colors of school sweaters, band t-shirts, and bare breasts all made up the collective before me.

The heat of their laser beam eyes made sweat trickled down my face, but I was unable to wipe it away. My forehead was stuck to the metal support it rested on, and the rest of me was strapped into a sitting position; leaning forward with my hands bound to my sides.

There were large screens positioned throughout the auditorium; two in my peripheral. One large screen behind me was reflected in the large doe eyes of the students in the front row. On the screen, a magnified view of my head. The top hemisphere shaved, but the hair on the lower was parted and tied in two low ponies that framed the tattoo on the back of my neck. Becoming self conscious of the obvious craters and freckles on my exposed cranium, I felt my ears grow hot.

Over my shoulder boomed a voice in a foreign tongue. The faces of the students in the rows left mine and followed a man hovering behind where I was seated. I could not make out the words, but the accent was oddly familiar.

After a few minutes, the words appeared to be making more sense. The language was not foreign; the words were backwards. As if the words had been taunting me with this puzzle and surprised I had solved it, they started rearranging themselves. It was time to “remove the top half of her skull,” the professor/doctor/whatever said.

I didn’t seem troubled by the thought of the top part of my head being removed. It appeared to be prepped on the big screen. We all heard the whirring of saws, the suctioning of instruments, and watched as the top of my head was removed with a wet pop.

The class ooooh’d and ahhhhh’d.

With a scalpel in hand, the doctor began cutting away at pieces of my brain; tossing small bits to the floor. “AH HA! Zoom in here, Demetri,” the man said and I saw the image grow on the screens in the glassy eyes ahead of me. “Class, exactly what we were hoping for.” You could hear the smile in his voice as he fished around in my head with a small pair of tongs. He tugged and pulled and finally held up his specimen for all to see.

“The highly elusive brain worm!” The class clapped fervently. I just sat there, restrained, and tried to see what this worm looked like. “This specimen is impressive. We shall all share it… eat it, and soon we will have our own worms.”

The class clapped and clapped. The first row shot to their feet and clapped until I thought their hands would break free and fly onto the floor… to mingle with the bits of brain I wouldn’t be using.

I guess it was cool to have worms in your brain. I didn’t get it.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Dissatisfaction: Fooling a Fool

I should have pushed myself or upped my "game"
I should have stayed longer or been more productive

It's never good enough, the effort...You will always be dissatisfied.

I must have let it slip, that I could do better
I must have fooled you well with my big ambition

It's never good enough, my dreams... You will always be dissatisfied.

I tried my best, and you saw only failure
I attempted greatness, but you laughed as I tripped over untied laces

It's never good enough... I will always be dissatisfied.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Homesickness: The Ghosts of Oklahoma

Winded, I plop myself onto the ground, leaning back to enjoy the warm sun on my face. Bittersweet... I would happily trade a dozen of these moments to hover over the old floor furnace in my childhood home. For just a little while, and absorb the sensory overload that IS my family and friends; just a minute... maybe two.

Homesickness weighs on my shoulders and sours in my stomach. Choking on the warm air, I can feel my heart, burdened by my heavy tears, sinking down through me into the hard ground below. Anchoring me on the spot and stopping time to draw out a single, torturous moment.

It's a warm January birthing a hot February, hotter March, and a baking April; a scattered litter of hot and sunny days bleeding into one another. In Oklahoma, the children are bundled in their cozy layers while ice frosts my hometown. Kids out of school; enjoying snow days with soaked mittens and pink noses.

Life goes on...

A fog of secrets and complaints will fall on other deserving ears, but my head hums with a loud silence. Ghosts of stories that will reach me too late lose their significance and fall sleepily to my feet. I shove them aside. Kicking up the dust and dirt that Arizona gifts me.

Oklahoma hasn't even noticed, and I am forgotten in Arizona.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Ambitious?

Hey Stranger!

I know I promised you some Latch Key Kids, but I got busy. I have been doing a lot of recommended reading.

I may have mentioned, I started writing a young adult novel during the month of November. It was an idea I have been throwing around for a while, and my good friend Kemari talked me into starting it early. I have about 13/14 chapters that I wrote for NaNoWriMo, and I am going back thru them and reworking them.

This is a very difficult process for me. First, it is written in first person. I find this extremely hard to write, but necessary for this story. Another problem is that each character is somewhat made of me... so it's hard to make them stand out as individuals.

Kemari found this book Writing for Children & Teenagers by Lee Wyndham at Bookman's so I am reading thru it taking notes to help me finish this project. Although its last revision was in 1988, it still has some valid point that I feel will help. Do you have any pointers?

Another problem I am having is the influx of ideas coming to me right now. I will be working on something and a new idea will form in my head, and it's so overpowering I am tempted to stop working on my original project. I am trying to push aside a small amount of time to focus on the new ideas without overpowering the old ones. Time management... a New Years Resolution?

What's new?

1. I purchased a new domain the other day (theweekendwars.com) because of an idea that has been driving me crazy. At first I wanted to write a story inspired by an MGMT song, but then I started thinking: How cool would it be to write a series of stories by several different people that mesh together but can also stand alone. Post Apocolyptic clan life... posts can be very day dealings to drawn out Sci-Fi work.

If you're interested in doing something like this - let me know tomaraa@gmail.com

2. Back in the day, when I wrote with The Green Room of Collaboration, we took our inspiration from a gallon Maraschino cherry jar (notes, clips, swatches, etc) and wrote. I did this for a while on MySpace, and you can see some of my postings if you filter through this blog. I have set up a new blog, and I will begin drawing from the jar again, as well as, doing other writing exercises. I want to encourage anyone to participate. I will post more information on that as soon as I get a few posts under my belt. I have the site but I have yet to forward the domain. You can bookmark it if you like www.InspirationUnderground.com

Let me know what you're up to
~2

Monday, July 28, 2008

You Missed Me, Didn’t You?

Hi! Remember me? I know it’s been forever, and those of you who subscribed are going to get this email out of the blue, and be like: Who’s 2mara and why is she emailing me?

Seriously, I didn’t force you to subscribe… although I like it… a lot.

So the subscribing commitment you made, way back when, it’s still there. But never fear, I am not coming after you expecting some sort of “support” - you are not parentally linked to my blog (well you did subscribe and there are certain responsibilites.. blah blah blah), I believe you can just click something in that email and break these ties that bind us.

But…

Since you’re here, why not read a clip of something I am working on; nothing too fancy. It’s just a story of a girl. Well a small part that makes up a girl we both know - some of us better than others.

***


An embarrassment; that is all I could call it. ID’d for spray paint.

At first I wasn’t sure why I was being ID’d. I really had to think it through, and when it finally occurred to me, I am sure I was red in the face. I had never considered huffing paint. Now don’t make me out as some “goody goody.” I had done my share of drugs and drank my share of fine liquor (if that is what you would call Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill), but please… sniffing paint? It made me think of first grade, and poor Gina Haney kicking back a bottle of Elmer’s, while the rest of us were getting married on a rained out recess. Pathetic. I will swear to this: Elmer’s glue HAS NEVER and WILL NEVER touch my lips.

I was eighteen, so the cashier sold me the green spray paint. I still couldn’t believe it, ID’d for paint, yet any crappy gas station in town was happy to sell me a pack of cigarettes without proof of age for the past 5 years… what a world we lived in.

The paint had a purpose, and no it wasn’t to write “Tomara was here” on a trashcan behind the high school. It was for my shoes. Of course they were shoes I had worn for the past few months to school, to work, out with friends, but as soon as the paint tongue kissed those faux leather beauties, they had only one remaining purpose in their sole-less (hehe) existence… graduation.

***


There’s a smidgen of it, but I wanted you to know I am still writing. I am just slow about posting these days. I have several latchkey kid tales I will be hopefully posting in the next couple of weeks, so please… if you can remember the relationship we use to have, all the good times, and you can forgive me for the abandonment thing; let’s make up.What do you say?
Pretty please.
~2

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Smudges

There was a time when this girl wore the lipstick. She cared not what other’s thought and wore it bright and loud… even if it was totally out of context, she wore it proud

Lipstick is a funny thing… although brilliant and alluring, you lose it throughout the day. A sip or a kiss… it always seems to wash away

As time goes by it loses its luster… and eventually the lipstick wears the girl. She feels obligated to reapply… muted in tone and in conservative supply

Worn as a mask to hide insecurities… the lipstick wears the girl. All that’s left are the blissful memories in her head… dancing wildly in solid shades of red.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

A Bit of a Twist… Twisted

*** This post was from the draw: Motionless***
I lay there… motionless… pretending not to see… trying not to breathe


Glassy eyed you write your confessions on the cold tile… you fingerprints everywhere.

That’s my blood…. That’s my mangled body laying there naked… clammy,
Getting colder by the second.

Crazy you run about… talking nonsense in a foreign tongue… babbling… babbling… will you shut up already.

That’s my blood… that’s my mangled body laying there naked… bruised,
Getting colder by the second.

Oh God now what? What are you looking for in that cabinet? I don’t think so… that’s my straight razor… don’t you dare…

Crap.

I lay there… motionless… pretending not to see… trying not to breath

AND

there you are trying to steal my glory…. Flopping about on the tile beside me… spurting your life into the air and across my face.

~2

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Make Believe

**I think I wrote this for an older draw… stumbled upon it and felt like reposting it**

Make Believe

Everyday I imagine we are close even when I distance us
My head swims with uncertainty and I tend to push you away.
I listen to the silence and pretend to hear optimistic promises
but the darkness eats them up.

Everyday I lie to myself and pretend all is well in my world
That I am happy with the choices I have made.
I listen to my heart and try to quiet it’s pleas for more than this
but I am tired and dismiss it as nothing.

Everyday my dreams of greatness sink further away
Laziness becomes the path of least resistance.
I listen to my doubts and begin to think they are truths
and I am meant to accomplish nothing.
~2

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I Want...

***This was posted for the draw: “Our lives are kept in Equipoise by opposite attractions and desires.” - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow “Haunted Houses” ***

I posted this a long time ago… but it immediately came to mind tonight when thinking about what to write for this draw… I apologize for reposting but I think it’s appropriate.

I want…

I want to be content… to not wish there was something more.
I want to be able to look at my life with no regrets, and be perfectly happy with what I have. To not be angry that I am not where I want to be or question why I am with - who I am with. I don’t want to obsess about the things that I should have or shouldn’t have done.I want to be handed this contentment on a plate and not have to struggle to attain it… a beautifully wrapped gift in the palm of my hand.

I want not to be afraid to open it.
~2
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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Anticipation

Anticipation

Looking into your eyes
They sparkle for me
Pixilated
Spelling my name over and over

Watching your lips move
No sound
Beating
My heart in my ears

Swimming
Light headed
Your smell intoxicating
Sweet taste on my tongue

Pressing our bodies close
A heat that warms past lives
Contentment
I am home

Touching your fingertips
Pulse tickles
If this was my last moment
I am with you

Hoping my feelings are reciprocated
Wishing for more time
Knowing that it is forbidden
Thinking of you… always.

~2

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

If I could... I would

If I could spill the words to make you love me… I would
Onto the floor in front of you…
Up on to your bare feet and the ratted hem of your jeans.

If I could paint the picture of a perfect us… I would
Brilliantly colored and outlined in blood…
Sweat and tears caressing my canvas ever so softly.

If I could cup you face in my hands… I would
Covering it with soft kisses and nuzzling your nose…
Tasting your sweet lips and swallowing your tongue.

If I could hold you close… I would
A warmth that soothes my very soul…
My heart beating only for you.

~2

Monday, September 25, 2006

Sweetness

I smile as she covers me with sugar coated kisses
Love glazed with only the sweetness that she possesses
My heart belongs to her… she will one day own this world
I hope she thinks of me while she makes those big decisions
I hope she thinks of me when she feels alone and needs advice
I hope I can return the favor of warming her heart when she needs it the most
For right now, she is the sparkle in my eye, the dimple in my cheek,
and the glow that radiates from my very being
My Lovely Brynn

What's with MY Penis?

Yeah this is a repost… it’s an oldie but goodie… When I woke up on this lovely Monday morning… my inbox was full and I thought of this post. So I had to share it with you… cause I luuuurrrrrrve you!~2

It’s Friday night, and of course, I am at home… going over my multiple email accounts - looking for something to do. My online friends apparently have a life and I am sitting here wondering how many boards of mah jong I have to play to actually scramble my brain enough that it will drip out of my nose.

SO, most of my email is forwarded crap from an old friend.. I don’t even bother to read it. It’s all the same… something something angel… something something friendship… if you do this you will have good luck in something something… bleah. The rest have something to do with my penis.

WOW!!! Now that is some mail. I wasn’t even aware I had one. I mean I have been down there many a time (more frequently some days) and never have I felt ANYTHING that resembled a penis… well at least attached to my body. So, I’m intrigued, why is my penis such a concern? Apparently not only is my penis lacking in size, but I have a stamina issue. It’s depressing… this damn thing… and mine is apparently broken.

SO, I think I am going to order me some of whatever they are selling - because I want the best penis on the block DAMMIT!! I want to be able to whip it out and people applaud. I want to walk down the street and bitch-slap those power walkers with it… or even better… stick it in the spokes of those little bastards that keep riding their bikes through my yard. I want to walk down town with my head held high… both of them… proud to know my penis is the best penis it can be.I’ll show you mine if you show me yours
~2

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Sweet Dreams

SO yeah I am moving and had lots on my mind before I left.. so I slacked on the last few draws. I am working on them… give me a break. If you haven’t had a chance to write either… please do. My addition is on the bottom… please read it and tell me what you think.
Lots of Love
~2

Last night I blogged about my Moon Wishes tonight I want to share a photo with you that DH sent me…



Sweet Dreams

Would you be offended If I told you I worshipped your celestial body?
Your heavenly form
I dream your every shadow in the night
highlighting your best features
showcasing your exquisite silhouette

Closed eyes
I envision you
innocently sleeping
naked
undisturbed

Reaching out to touch perfection
my chilled hand bringing goose bumps to your flesh
never wakingonly rolling to your sideto pursue uncharted dreamlands
wielding a warrior’s blade

To watch you sleep
loving you with all that I am
… is all I need.

~2

Thursday, September 7, 2006

Moon Wishes

I know it sounds ridiculous, and believe me I thought about not mentioning it… but tonight I wished on the moon.

Really, who does this? You know so many people that wish on stars, or that lengthy eyelash… or even those who try their luck with fortune cookies… but really, the moon?

I am not sure why I did it. I am at a point in my life it only makes sense to make wishes. My head is so full of dreams that I cannot seem to make a reality, but those dreams carry me on from day to day. I wished on the moon for the simple reason it stole my breath this evening. It was so remarkably beautiful, I couldn’t help but wish on it. I’ve been doing this alot… sometimes I wish on people. I wished on this old lady today. She had her hair freshly done from the salon, no doubt — I knew she would be a good choice for wishing. As I sat in line at the school, waiting for my son to get out… I wished on this dented SUV. It was a lovely blue, and it had a darwin fish on it… and I KNEW I should wish on that one.


I am just a dreamer, when I saw that moon tonight, I wanted to share it with the world. I wanted you all to look through my eyes at that exact moment and see exactly why I thought it was beautiful. I wanted you to think all the random thoughts that floated in my head, and I wanted you to feel the deepest wishes in my heart. I wanted you to know, that tonight I made a wish for you… to wish too.
~2


Tuesday, August 1, 2006

Chronicles of a Firefly

Drawn toward the light
Anticipation burns my eyes,
Juices flow heavily in my mouth.
Visions dancing fiercely in my head,
Dizziness overcomes me.
I collapse onto the while tile below.
Nothing now; no light, no breeze, no noise.
Soft, sensual fragrances send me into a trance.
I can almost taste their essence, so sweet, yet
Turning sour on my tongue almost iron-like.
The air is filled with an overwhelming smell,
Rotting flesh and decomposing animals.
It’s so stuffy… no air.
I gasp and gasp, reaching helplessly for another breath,
Only to find my lungs filled with a strange smoke.
A burning like acid overpowers me.
My delicate membranes throb, throb with each beat of my panicked heart.
Goosebumps race down my spine as warm, thick blood dances across my cold flesh.
Each attempt for breath now is an Olympic feat,
My weary body can’t go on.
Not breathing, I feel myself slip away.
I am still receptive to pain – OH ITS INTENSITY!
I can feel acids leaking from inside my body onto the cold tile underneath.
Astral projecting above my container,
I see it twitch and everything seems quite hazy.
My once called “self” is floating in its own sea of blood.
Frightened and trembling I flee,
But wait,
I see more bodies like mine,
All motionless on the same white tile floor aligning the oblong hall.
I’m not alone.
At the top of the arched hallway there are ten to fifteen like me.
Almost transparent, small and bright,
Like fireflies on a midsummer night
All trapped at the top, not able to fly home.
Left in the hall to die,
For some twisted mind’s pleasure;
A handmade nightlight.
~2

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Grass

OK… I am cheating. I have total brain drain; I am going to contribute that to the jetlag, so this is old. I have posted this before… back when I had one whole subscriber (thanks mom!… kidding) - so you probably missed it. I did think of it when I read the draw… that counts for inspiration… doesn’t it? As always, thanks for playing, and thank you for reading!

Grass


Your hands move along your damp flesh;Crawling like possessed animals up your chest.Slowly dancing on your sternum and up to your necks base,It’s hard to imagine they don’t have a face and can’t laugh -Their little eyes gleaming, hair streaming, and their teeth shining.For all you know… their smiling.

Your body twitches as they dig in drawing blood to the surface -Its warmth teases them, its scent excites them, its taste thrills them.Your life depresses them.Your death anchors them.Now resembling blades of grass blowing in the wind,They frantically sway trying to detach themselves from their master.

~2

Wednesday, July 5, 2006

Yeah, I'm Lazy

Yeah, I’m Lazy
I thought and thought and thought
but nothing came out
My brain is drained
for once I shut my mouth (oh wow)

Close my eyes and let the images dance wildly
Taunted by their own theme music they behave so badly
Yet I smile and wish it were me
Crazy like they are and so free

Incredible, beautiful, fantastic, surreal
All these amazing things I wish I could feel
But as much as I want to remember them forever
I can’t bring myself to put them on paper
~2