Kid-Sized Problems Vs. Teacher-Sized Problems

My seven year-old, Brynn, brought some papers home from school yesterday--I didn't see them until after I got home from dropping her at school this morning. One page outlines issues/problems that a child might have at school and helps them determine if they should approach their teacher or just "work it out."

Kids get so many mixed signals in the classroom, often encouraged to "tattle" on other students for misbehavior, or required to ask permission for every single thing. I'm not surprised that they go to their teacher with everything because they're so used to seeking his/her approval on everything. I can see how this can become quite the problem as today's class sizes aren't getting any smaller, so I'm pleasantly surprised by a worksheet to help them determine what really needs to be brought to the teacher's attention.

Notice the title "Don't Squeal Unless It's a Big Deal" and my daughter's messy handwriting.

The paper defines Kid-Sized Problems as problems that kids can handle on their own by talking, listening, and helping others. Teacher-Sized Problems are problems that involve people or things getting hurt and it's an emergency.

Brynn was then asked to write down examples of kid-sized problems. I like that the child has to put some thought into it, but obviously they need guided answers. Brynn's answers are a bit confused:

1. Getting a splinter. Brynn is nothing if not overly dramatic--a splinter is a big deal and almost always accompanied by tears. I don't think she can work this out by talking, listening, or with help from others.
2. Pencil isn't sharpened. If she can pass her pencil to the kid next to the sharpener, then problem solved, but I'm pretty sure she can handle this one on her own.
3. Picture isn't pretty. Good grief. I really hope this means that she's unsatisfied with her own pictures, but I'm almost certain she's willing to help the kid sitting next to her by "talking and helping" that kid with "constructive" criticism and color-palette recommendations.

The Teacher-Sized Problems scare the crap out of me, and I don't think they need an explanation:

1. Bleeding to their death
2. Weapons
3. Alligators running around school

These sound more like they need Emergency Workers and/or SWAT team--I'm not sure a teacher is going to be much help there. 

I'm glad Brynn understands the possibilities of people "getting hurt" and the "emergency" in her listed Teacher-Sized Problem scenarios, but I'm not sure she really grasps the reasoning for this little exercise. That's one of the bad things about looking through her homework--I'm not really sure what was discussed--if this was just a random handout or if scenarios were gone over in detail (esp in light of all of the crazy school shootings across the US). I'll go over this with her when she gets home from school today. Not that I don't think alligators running around the school is an emergency situation, but there are sometimes scarier things than alligators... things with familiar names and faces--sometimes disguised as friends. 

Happy Wednesday!
~2

Einstein Chillaxin'

I found this image on the internet. I can't remember where it was--probably stuffed somewhere between ugly cats and the Meme of the week.

I was instantly taken with it--an extraordinary mind that doesn't take himself too seriously--genius even. I quickly printed it out to tack over my desk along with my quotes from Kurt Vonnegut and Robert Hughes.

I showed it to my sister, and she suggested it was Photoshop'd. I didn't dive into a frenzy of research, trying to determine if I was right and she wrong. I just wanted to believe it to be an actual photograph.

It was so reassuring upon first glance, and now I, too, am questioning the likelihood of it's originality. 

I need to start keeping these things to myself, so I can enjoy my blissful ignorance.

What do you think, Photoshop'd?

Not Your Typical #CYOA Story

If you haven't heard of Choose or Die, you're missing out--it's an insane interactive reader/writer experience. The website sells it to you by evoking some sort of childhood nostalgia.

Once upon a time (don’t all good stories start that way?), young adult readers of the mid-to-late 80s had far more power than they have now.  They had the power to determine the fates of the characters in the books they read.  I won’t name the franchise of books that foolishly gave these young readers so much power, but let’s just say the reader was asked several times during the course of the story to “make a choice” regarding the direction of the “adventure.”

Now that we have grown up, we find ourselves stripped of power and slave to the whims of the writers who think they know better than us what should happen next in a story.  Don’t tell me there haven’t been times you’ve put a book down and wished the author would have called you and consulted with you about that fork in the road.  If only that had happened, the book wouldn’t have sucked so bad, think you. 

 Well, I think it’s time, finally, to give you back the power to make the next call.
Choose or Die is just that place – but wait, before you become too jubilant and drunk on your own remembered power, there are a few things you should know.

With all great power comes great responsibilities.... right? Here's the skinny directly from the Choose or Die website--how it works:

• Majority rules.
You’ll be introduced to a new story, and, of course, at a particularly heady junction in the action, you’ll be asked to make a choice.  But you aren’t alone.  Your fellow readers are also making choices.  Lo and behold, you are now engaged in a battle of wills.  The more people that choose the option you favor, the better chance you have to see your option advanced in the story.  However, if your favorite choice is not preferred by the majority, you will suffer the disappointment of the loser.

• If you lose, you die.
You won’t always win.  Don’t worry.  The losing choices will be addressed, too – but not the way you want.  Beware the pitfalls of being in the minority, because grisly fates await.  Of course, you can always recruit more readers to slant the voting your way . . .

• There are a lot of Scribblers here.
 Every episode, you’ll be introduced to a different Scribbler, a writer chosen for their propensity towards the humorous and ridiculous.  The style may be a little different from day to day.  We like to keep things interesting around here.

• It’s very likely that multiple tales are being told.
Don’t get lost.  Again, we like to keep things interesting, and Scribblers don’t appreciate standing around, waiting on majority rule.

The story is fast paced and completely unpredictable--even the writers have no clue as to where it's going. Once the weekly chapter is posted, the readers vote--the next writer doesn't know what he (or she) is writing until after the votes have been tabulated. Then, he (or she)  has to write the next chapter. The other two options--the losing ones--are written and spit out the same week. These "kills" will likely blow your mind. The "Crew" are little mad-scientists, looking to kill you off in unexpected ways (last season I wrote a death by chicken wing). This way, you can see what would've happened if you chose one of the losing options--although, no one will know if you fib and say you chose something else.

You'll also notice that the writers like to leave awkward options at the end of each chapter, making it difficult for the next writer to pick up where the story left off, so believe me when I say a good time will be had by all. *insert evil laugh here*

Now, we are on the brink of Season Four, and we're ready to get this ball rolling. As the reader you can help pick this season's story by visiting the website, and VOTING on the story that you'd like to see on Choose or Die. There are quite a few options, but be sure to read them all--some will definitely surprise you (and possibly offend you--if the writers are doing their jobs right).

JUMP OVER AND VOTE FOR SEASON FOUR STORY OPTIONS

We've had a blast with previous seasons. Here are the links to past stories, so you can read them start-to-finish, choosing your favorite options along the way. There's other cool stuff on the website--like video trailers made by the ridiculously talented Steven Novak and information on all of the writers taking part in this season as well as past seasons.

It's definitely been fun, and I can't wait until we officially kick off Season Four, so GO VOTE NOW :-)

~2

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Random Raspberries (pppblt)

I'm going back to my random roots, but I'm a little embarrassed by this blog post. I haven't written it yet, but I already know where it's going--a dark place, and I'm not really sure you're ready for that.

I apologize.

I love Raspberry M&Ms (RANDOM!). I pretty much love all things Raspberry. I can't help it, but ever-so-often the shitty stores here will carry the Raspberry M&Ms and I can't help but buy them. I'm an addict, and I'm eating them while I type this post :-).

These right here...

Notice that it plainly says "Artificial Flavor" on the label. To me this is a HUGE selling point. Not that I don't like natural stuff. I'm all about natural stuff, but I want nothing to do with "natural" raspberry flavoring--thanks to the science channel. Apparently "natural" raspberry flavoring doesn't come from raspberries. That would be too easy--to just squeeze a bunch of raspberries. "Natural" raspberry flavoring comes from the oil (castoreum) secreted from a BEAVER'S ANUS.

You're welcome.

HOLY SHIT, right? Who thought to check a beaver's anus? My guess--an office joke went horribly wrong. I mean, how do you explain to a co-worker that that delightful favor--tickling his delicate palate--came from a beaver? That's some motivation--to go and hunt one down so you could rub its butt (on someone's soda?). I think that's something you'd have to take to the grave. 


I prefer to think it was an accident because I can't fathom volunteering to lick some beaver's crack--totally not worth kick-ass insurance or garage parking. 


At least the testing was thorough. Would PETA approve? Wikipedia says PETA was founded in March 1980, so I guess we've been squeezing beaver butts for much longer. I'm pretty sure that the beaver would be kept alive AND treated well, so we could reap the benefits of it's contribution to this "natural" flavoring... bleah. 

I just checked the hall of records (Wikipedia), and it states that "Castoreum" is also used in BOTH food AND beverages as "natural" VANILLA, RASPBERRY, and STRAWBERRY flavors. Crap...

Anyway, there's today's random jumble of thoughts:

Do you have any strange addictions?
Have you ever loved something so much only to find out it was hiding a dark secret?

<3
~2

Freakin' Q

Sorry Folks! I'm throwing in the towel on the A to Z Challenge. I'd personally like to blame "Q". My world for Q was Quagmire, and I just couldn't take it seriously. I couldn't get past that goofy dude from Family Guy. He totally ruined my mojo--which was going pretty well until then.

Ok, maybe I've been a little busy too.

ANYway, I wish you all the best of luck, and if I can get some time, I'll try to catch up on reading your awesome A to Z blogs.

So long A to Z Challenge May we meet again next year.